


Dreams of Memories

by theoretically_moss



Series: Memories of What Could Have Been [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Black Eagles Spoilers, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, blue lions major ending spoilers, memories of ng+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 13:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20243998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoretically_moss/pseuds/theoretically_moss
Summary: With the end of the war coming, Byleth is plagued with nightmares of what could have been. One particular nightmare about a certain emperor continues to resurface, causing her no end of pain. One night she awakens from one of those dreams, only to find herself under the worried gaze of that same emperor she dreams of.





	Dreams of Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I know there's been this idea of NG+ Byleth retaining their memories from previously play-throughs, essentially living in a time-loop of sorts, and I really enjoy it. While I played the Blue Lions path after having completed the Black Eagles, the idea kept on coming to mind and festering until I thought of my own version, in which NG+ memories gradually come to Byleth over time in dreams, similar to Sothis's memories. This fic is a product of that and my love for Byleth and Edelgard.

_ The sounds of fighting were deafening. The ringing of metal clashing with metal and screams of pain filled the imperial palace. But such pain was the awful truth of war and Byleth knew this. She rushed through the palace, cutting down any soldiers who stood in her way, leaving a bloody wake behind her. She had left her students behind as they slowly cut a safe path to the throne room. Byleth had no time for such tactics, there was something she had to do. Alone. _

_ Her students obviously objected to her running such a direct and dangerous path, but all of them were in too weak a state to stop her. A soldier jumped in Byleth’s way in an attempt to slow her, but she effortlessly cut them down before finally stepping into the throne room. And she suddenly stopped. _

_ The sight before her was horrifying, disgusting even. But most of all, it caused a deep, knotting pain in her stomach. At the throne was not Edelgard, but a horrifyingly contorted monster. The only sign that it was in fact the Emperor was her distinct head sitting upon the shoulders of the demon, but even her face was warped--her eyes glowing red and skin grey with clumps of beastly flesh protruding from her jaw. _

_ Byleth felt as though she stood frozen in horror forever, only to snap back to reality in time to dodge an incoming blast of magic. Damn her for being so distracted. She extended the sword of the creator, whipping it about the area as she charged forward, doing her best to wipe out the final group of soldiers who stood in her way. She was so close. So close to her. And yet she couldn’t be further. _

_ Retracting the sword’s blade, Byleth ran up the final steps until she stood directly in front of the throne and the monster that was once the Emperor. It only hurt more to be up so close to her. Byleth felt as though she was choking just standing near what Edelgard had become, but she stood her ground, brandishing the sword of the creator as she stared up at the monster. She steeled her resolve to fight, but when the monster spoke, it all broke. _

_ “Facing you...I grow weak…” _

_ Her voice was distorted beyond recognition, and yet, Byleth couldn’t help but hear some small sliver of a saddened Edelgard speaking. The Emperor’s lips were pulled down, her face filled with a mix of pain and sadness. Byleth’s vision began to blur slightly. Were these...tears? When was the last time she cried? Back when Jeralt had died? She blinked the tears that threatened to fall away. She couldn’t cry. Not now. _

_ “Edelgard, I wish I could have helped you.” Byleth internally winced at the slight desperation in her voice. “But this,” she pointed her sword at the Emperor, as though to point out what she’d become, “is too far.” _

I’ll free you from your misery now.

_ She ran at the monster, prepared to strike her down with the sword of the creator. With a slash of her blade she would end Edelgard’s pain. She would free the continent of this brutal war. She brought down the blade, about to strike when--_

Byleth shot up in a cold sweat, her breathing irregular and heavy. She was in her room, back at the dormitories in Garreg Mach. She dropped her head into her hands as she steadied her breathing, before letting out a heavy sigh. Ever since she had awoken from her five year slumber, her nights had been plagued with dreams of other realities. They had started out few and far between, only showing bits and pieces of what could have been, but as time went on, the dreams became more frequent and vivid.

They began to weave together overarching timelines of what could have been had Byleth not followed Edelgard, rather listening to Rhea. Or had she chosen to follow a different house leader all the way back when she had first shown at the monastery. The more she saw of how these possibilities unfolded, though, the more they morphed from being dreams to nightmares. This one in particular had plagued her for the past few nights.

She let out another sigh as she slowly got out of her bed and changed into her usual outfit. It would be another sleepless night, so she may as well calm down in the cool air outside. Byleth didn’t bother to brush her hair. It may have seemed a mess, though in truth, it always looked a bit messy. As she opened the door, cool air rushed in, brushing over her skin in a calming breeze. She closed the door behind her quietly. While she was sure no one was close to hear, she still wanted to keep quiet in case.

Byleth roamed the monastery grounds aimlessly, simply enjoying the cool air. Though the nightmare she had still lingered. She eventually came to a stop by one of the low walls, leaning forward on it as she stared off at the land below and beyond the monastery. It was such a beautiful land once, but now it looked broken, ravaged by war. It had been five years since the attack on the monastery, and the scars still remain. But there was never the time or resources to allow such healing during war. She wondered if it could have been possible to prevent all of this. But no, change never comes without costs, and change was desperately needed. Sacrifices were necessary. Her dreams only proved that.

“Professor, what are you doing out at this hour?”

Edelgard. Her sudden words had surprised Byleth, causing her to stiffen slightly. She didn’t turn her head to look at the Emperor. How could she after that nightmare? But she still had to respond to her presence. “I could ask the same of you.”

There was a painful silence. Byleth felt as though she were being scrutinized, every detail observed to find an answer. Just as the silence was about to become unbearable, Edelgard spoke. “Perhaps you’re right, but the question still stands. Is something the matter?”

Of course Edelgard had seen right through her. Nothing slipped past her sharp eyes. What would Byleth say though? That she had a dream in which Edelgard was some monster she had to kill? The idea of saying such a thing to Edelgard caused a twisting pain in her gut. Imagining her response made the pain worse. “It’s nothing. I just wanted some fresh air.”

Byleth cringed at the slight wavering in her voice. There was no hiding her true emotions around Edelgard. Whenever around her, Byleth’s emotions seemed to amplify. Like she was safe and had something to care for around her. Edelgard drew out her emotions and Byleth couldn’t say she didn’t like it, but it also amplified the pain that would come too.

“Very well, but know that if you are ever in need of anything, I will always be here for you.”

It was slight, but Byleth could hear hesitation in Edelgard’s voice. Was she scared? She could only wonder why. There was a deafening silence between the two women. It seemed to last forever. But with all things, it came to an end. The sound of Edelgard turning to leave echoed in Byleth’s ears. Time seemed to slow as fear crawled under her skin. She was scared too. Scared of pushing away and losing someone so important to her. She quickly turned to face the Emperor she supported with all her being. “Edelgard, wait.”

Edelgard stopped, turning to look back at her former professor. There was a small look of surprise on her face, but deep in her lilac eyes was a look of relief. Byleth held back a small gasp. She looked beautiful in the moonlight, but along with that came the painful reminder of why Byleth stood out here in the first place. Letting out a sigh, she continued, “I suppose there’s been something troubling me for awhile now.”

Byleth shifted her weight back and forth as she cast her eyes to the ground. She didn’t know what words she could possibly use. Her thoughts were moving too fast for her to catch and find what to say. Everything stopped when Byleth felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back at Edelgard, who now stood directly in front of her, a reassuring look on her face, silently telling her it was okay. That was all she needed to find the courage to truly speak her mind. “I’ve been having dreams of what could have happened had I not followed you.”

Worry suddenly etched it way into Edelgard’s features and guilt filled her eyes. There had been no good way of saying it, but Byleth feared the distance that would be created by never speaking at all. “I’m sorry for making you follow me down this difficult path, my teacher. Do you...” There was a pause as Edelgard trailed off, moving her gaze away from Byleth. “Do you regret your decision to protect me?”

Edelgard’s grip on Byleth’s shoulder loosened, but before she could pull it away, Byleth laid her hand atop Edelgard’s wrist. She didn’t want to lose contact with her. Edelgard had been her anchor. Without her, she surely would have no reason to care for others. Would she have ever begun to show emotion without her? Perhaps she would have joined Rhea and her oppression had Edelgard not been there at all to open her eyes and heart. “No. I will never regret protecting you. I chose to walk this path with you.”

The Emperor’s gaze returned to Byleth, her eyes widened with surprise and what seemed to be a slight blush formed on her cheeks. But it was hard to tell in the moonlight. Byleth lightly squeezed her wrist in reassurance. “You don’t need to worry. I will never leave you or this path you carve. No, these dreams are more like nightmares. When I don’t follow you, I side with the church and end up fighting you. I always have to…” Byleth clenches her free hand as she feels her face pull into a frown. “I always have to kill you as a result. It hurts so much, but it reminds me of my resolve. I believe in you and I can’t allow any of what I’ve seen happen to you. You’re a dear friend who I couldn’t stand losing.”

“Byleth…”

It was strange to hear her name spoken. Her former students always called her professor out of respect for her, even now, despite standing alongside each other as soldiers. But it was nice to hear her name. It made it feel like she was seen as human, on the same level as those speaking to her. Edelgard gave a small, soft look. Sadness bled into her features. Sadness for the pain her former professor was going through. Byleth gave a small, genuine smile in response.

The whole affair reminded her of a conversation they had had so long ago. All those years back when Byleth had taken notice of Edelgard suffering nightmares and when she chose to trust Byleth with the knowledge of her painful past. “It’s funny.” Edelgard gave a confused look at Byleth’s words. “To think that we had a conversation like this about five years ago, but now the roles are reversed.”

Edelgard let out an amused huff as she removed her hand from Byleth’s shoulder. “I suppose so.”

Byleth’s smile widened slightly as a smile graced Edelgard’s face. It seemed to wash away all the pain and worries that plagued Byleth. Perhaps all would be well after their coming battle against Dimitri on the Tailtean Plains. Whatever happens, she would do anything to protect the rare smile on Edelgard’s face. “I suppose I should go and try to get some rest.”

Edelgard nodded and stepped away. “That would be wise. We’ll be needing you at your best if we wish to claim victory in the coming battle.” Byleth gave a nod and turned to walk away, only stopping at the sound of Edelgard’s voice once again. “And thank you. For choosing to trust me.”

“Of course. Thank you for listening.”

Byleth walked back to her room. Perhaps she would be able to sleep tonight after all. And maybe one day she could tell Edelgard the true depths of her feelings. Once the war ends, maybe then she would have the courage to admit her love.


End file.
